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Moment of Awesome - Laurie Collins/Wallflower : Laurie and Jennie Stavros talk about their lives and how sometimes it feels hard to fit.

"Oh I've been full roster for a while now," Jennie said, stretching out her arms. "They're making 'commander' noises at me again, which I am not sure I am ready for. No, it's the..." Jennie trailed off and looked at a space above Laurie's head. "The dance studio was Marnie's dream, and I was there to help her out. And now, I feel like I'm getting too far down the rabbit hole.Like I'm leading this double life, and it's all nice and safe and boring. But soon I'm going to have to tap out on one or the other, you know?"

“Remember when we were teenagers and I gave myself pneumonia trying to do too much?” Laurie mused with a grin before nodding at Jennie’s explanation. “I’ve had to make that choice a couple of times now, to varying degrees of success. What it comes down to is what parts of your life are the ones you can’t live without? Basically, it’s like that Walking Dead episode said. You’ve got to figure out what it is you want, and it can't be what you think other people want, or what you think you should want or even what you’d like to want. Once you figure that out, then it’s easier to choose what stays and what has to go.”

"Yeah, but what I want is no longer an option for me," Jennie looked at Laurie, and for a moment she just looked... tired. "It's just cobbling pieces together, and trying to leave the past in the past."

Laurie hesitated for a second, wanting to give Jennie a hug and tell her that it would be alright, but that was an easy way out. The truth was that it might not be; and saying else wise was just about making herself feel better, not Jennie.

“It’s hard to lose like that, and to still want the things that can’t be anymore,” Laurie responded carefully after a moment, trying to work out how to say ‘I’ll listen as long as you need’ without sounding twee. “I’m here whatever you need, or decide though; even if it’s just to take you out for the night and get you to sing stupid pop songs with me till we almost puke laughing.”

Jennie smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "I just ...ugh. I miss what I had, but what I had got a lot of people I cared about killed. How can I miss that, when it mean that it harmed so many people?"

Dating Doug had been a benefit in a lot of senses, especially in helping with Laurie’s often obliviousness to other people’s emotions and expressions. Doug was good at judging her moods before even she was aware of them, which helped any number of situations. But human questions were still hard, specifically because they were human and thus messy. They were unlike the structure of a virus – or the mere biology of the human or mutant body. There were so many variables, and so much that could be wrong or could even be right given only an inflection of a word, or the arch of an eyebrow.

“When you were back there, doing what you were doing, were you happy?” Laurie asked, gaze focused fully on Jennie now, hands resting in her lap as she gave full attention to the question. “I mean, did you feel needed in what you were doing? Did you feel like you had a home?”

"Honestly? Yes. And no offense to Xavier's, but in some ways it felt like more of a home than this place did. I wasn't a teenage fuckup or Vegas trailer trash. I was just another misfit toy, that had a job to do. That solved problems, occasionally thumbed our noses at the establishment, and solved mysteries." Jennie adjusted a cup of pens on the desk, twitching the pens into place. "I had a place in the world where I fit. And now I don't. Just a square peg in a bunch of round holes."

“Then maybe you need to make your own place?” Laurie noted, but it wasn’t an unkind question. “Xavier’s is not always the best place for everyone, and while it can be home – it doesn’t have to be the only home, or even the main home of everyone here. It might not be the same as the place you miss – and believe me, no matter the pain, it’s okay to miss a place where you were happy, where you had a home – but you can certainly look into doing something similar here. The X-men certainly don’t have to be the place you stay just because that’s where you were before you left.”

Today in XProject:

March 26

2004: Shinobi confronts Angelo about his self-injury. Nate and Moira go on a sanity vacation. Amanda finds out she's going back to the school the next day.

2005: Thermopylae: The Pack arrives for the memorial. Various people react to the service and to what happened. Domino and Amanda discuss Pete.

2006: The first of Jennie's relatives come to take her to her grandparents. He's not a nice man, and Marius and Nathan overcome their differences and get all fluffy and protective.

2007: Amanda arrives in Madagascar, surprising Angelo. Nathan announces Rachel has given him her cold. Our Hell: During a talk about her lack of academic progress with Scott, Illyana relives the moment she lost control of Limbo. Mark takes Sarah with him to belly dancing class, much to general confusion. Crystal plots with Wanda to decorate Pietro's room. Jennie is accepted into NYU. Amanda is jubilant about Marie-Ange and Doug, and is forgiven by Doug for pushing too hard. Jan and Tommy talk about their history.

2008: Operation: Take A Bow: Angelo and John return from their road trip with tales of being arrested and pick up Amanda from work; at the pub, Amanda has a feeling of being watched; Emma finds Wanda, working in one of the cafes and they talk about the magical database before Wanda feels eyes on them; Sarah and Mark feel like they're being followed whilst on the way to belly dancing class; Amanda and Doug, on the way home from Curry Night, are convinced they're being followed; Wanda returns to the office to a message from Officer McLellan from Tennesee, warning her of more deaths like the ones a year and a half ago and talk reveals those from that mission are being stalked. Forge announces his and Kyle's status as X-Men and Kyle announces his new codename - Wildchild.

2009: Lil posts about emailing her ex-husband. Heretics: Receiving a call about a potential sponsor, Nathan and Catseye go to the meeting, only to discover it's a trap set by Tara Trask and her people; Nathan has an inhibitor bracelet locked onto him, but manages to escape the building with Catseye, pursued by William Moses; Monet receives a call from Nathan and goes to the rescue, only to encounter Moses and Merryweather fighting it out with full powers; Catseye and a depowered Nathan battle Trask and her followers, who want to 'save' him from Taygetos, only to be saved by Malachi Hark; Merryweather kills Moses and seems to absorb his powers, almost causing a major traffic accident which Monet prevents, but loses the other woman in the process; regrouping at the hotel, plans are made to leave Morocco as soon as possible. Cammie and Logan have another training session and Cammie makes progress with holding back her toxins. Scott lets Johnny know his father wants him to stay at the school and Johnny agrees he'd prefer it.

2010: Angelo meets with Amanda at Finnegans and they talk about Angelo's new relationship, among other things. Doug and Marie-Ange meet Doug's family at the airport.

2011: Marius borrows Yvette's powers so that he can dance with her. Kyle and Doug text each other about Marius jumping out the window following his encounter with Laura. A drunken phone call ends up with Wanda and Haller at a bizarre little diner in the middle of the night.

2012: Wade texts Doug to discover he is exhausted after last night. Adrienne links an articles exhibiting why beauty pageants suck. Amanda leaves a coffee and asprin in the server room for Doug to help him recover from last night. Maddie convinces Wade to take her and some of the other New Mutants into the city to a new ice cream shop.

2013: Maddie texts Sue to see what she’s doing Thursday night. Frank and Hope share an interesting conversation.

2014: Adrienne texts Garrison to complain about her wake up call (in the form of Tandy freaking out over getting into college). Laurie texts Doug about a date night. Cecilia posts looking for someone to kill a huge-by-normal-standards spider.



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Coming Soon:

  • Honey, I Shrunk The Magic Class: No-one can find the magic peeps after a regular class, but they still register on the security system. What's going on?

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  • Set Fire To The Rain: A new attempt to portray the Hulk as a public danger results in near-disaster for New York.

  • Glitter and Gold: A night out at a prestigious party turns perilous for Wanda Maximoff and friends.

  • Casefile: Showdown at General Tso's Corral: X-Factor Investigations gets involved when a favourite local restaurant is shaken down for protection money.

  • X-Men Mission: Avengers vs X-Men: When Loki messes with the Avengers, Nick Fury is driven to desperate measures - getting the X-Men to take them down.

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