Template:Featured Articles/27-2024
 "Happy Pride!" Jessie threw her arms up in celebration. "Now I accidentally bought a million flags - don't ask how that happened - so do you happen to subscribe to the good word of the queer gods on this door?" She made a show of gesturing to the door like she was about to open it to reveal a grand prize. Nica paused again. Then she said, rather bashfully: "Do you have a spare ace flag?" Maybe it was time for her to take actual pride in her own orientation. "Of course!" Jessie dipped into the suite and came back out with an eight by eleven ace flag, proudly presenting it to Nica. "Don't tell the others-" by which she meant the other flags, of course, "but this one is my favorite. The color scheme is just so nice. I might get a bigger ace tattoo next month, I'm starting to get the itch for one again. And the butterflies are so small." She turned her arm to show Nica the pride butterflies in the crook of her elbow - one ace, one aro, and one trans. Nica blinked. "Wait, are you ace too?" The "too" was kind of a giveaway. "Sure am!" Jessie puffed up proudly - as much as she was capable of, at least. "It doesn't come up as much as being trans because no one ever really asks, 'hey how do you feel about sex' unless they want to have it with you, but personally I think we should talk more about it." Nica clutched the flag to her chest. "YES." It couldn't have been more vehement if she'd tried. "I mean, I get it, sex is important for the continuation of the species and all that, but it's everywhere. Especially here. So much sex. All the time." She wrinkled her nose a bit. "I mean, I feel like the species might benefit from going celibate for like a decade, but..." Jessie waggled her hand back and forth. "That's not the point. And yeah I've noticed people are a lot more..." More hand waving. "Around here. And that's cool, good for them, no shame. But like. Man, I understand libidos even less than I did when I was living in a college dorm." That got a brief bark of laughter. "I swear the whole place needs hosing down sometimes," she agreed. It was such a relief to talk to someone else who felt the way she did. "I mean, I get it. Lots of attractive, fit young-ish people all crammed into the same living space. But it just gets so damn tiring sometimes!" She tilted her head. "So, this is probably a bit personal, but when you go to Pride... I'm guessing it's under the trans flag? Since it's not really safe with the others?" Jessie tilted her head a little, curious. "What do you mean 'safe'?" Nica grimaced. "Well... There's the whole "ace people aren't really queer" dialogue going on. Not just with the straights, but with the whole queer community, you know? And there's a pretty loud group that says we should be included under the Pride umbrella and definitely not at Pride itself." She stopped, feeling awkward. "You're right, that dialogue does happen." Jessie's tone was a bit more sedate now. "And - first to answer your question, I go under all the flags. I either wear the trans flag as a cape and wear my aro-ace shirt - it's a bow in the ace colors and an arrow in the aro colors - or I wear my ace/aro combo flag and 'nobody knows I'm trans' shirt. And... you're right, people do say that, and they're very loud about it, but they're not the majority. And that's not always reassuring, because they're still loud and kind of scary sometimes, and no amount of reasoning with them is ever going to work. The most important part, I think, is to remember that they're wrong, and also that there are people like them for almost every letter of the community except L and G. Like - bi people who aren't in same-sex relationships. If your partner looks like the opposite gender, then you're not really bi according to the self appointed community judges, and you don't belong at Pride. Trans women - especially lesbians - have a hard time because they're told they 'take resources from real women.' I've been told before that I don't belong to the trans community because I have passing privilege, which is total bullshit. There's always going to be people telling you that you don't belong unless you fit their very strict guidelines of what a queer person should be, and they're wrong. And I know it sounds like I'm making it all seem really easy like you can wake up tomorrow with sudden confidence because you know they're wrong, but really it takes time - and for me years of therapy - so if you want to go to Pride and you're not ready to be loud and proud, that's fine too. No one is going to stop you at the proverbial gate and ask what flag you're attending under, you know?" Nica took all of this in, nodding along as Jessie spoke. "I guess it's because I've only been out a few years, and only around here," she admitted. "But... maybe it's time I stopped worrying about it." She gave Jessie a shy sort of smile. "If it wouldn't cramp your style, would it be okay if I joined you? For the first little while, anyway?" "Of course!" Jessie was obviously and absolutely thrilled. She loved helping people find their way into the community, even if they were just testing the waters. "You can join us for whatever you want, however long you want. And if you decide you want to get a little more crazy, we can help." |
