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Moment of Awesome - David Haller/Legion: Scott checks up on Jim and the sons of Xavier are disarmingly honest with other. Jim blinked. But it had to feel like that, didn't it? Just like withholding the full nature of his situation had with Sooraya. People who had earned his trust many times over, but to whom Jim had not reciprocated. In Scott's case, though, Jim realized the reason was something more than a thoughtless oversight. Something much more personal. "No. I get it." He tried to organize his thoughts into something coherent, knowing even as he did that it didn't make much sense, either. Not logical sense, anyway. "I think I'm . . . I don't really know, I can't ask him how he chooses people, but I think it's . . ." Jim stopped, and dropped his eyes to his hands. "I think I'm -- I'm afraid that if you meet him it'd be like . . ." and here he had to laugh at the absurdity of it, "like I'm letting you down, somehow." Scott leaned back in his chair, dark eyes settling on Jim's face for a moment before he shook his head. "How could YOU ever let me down? I've known you basically all my life Jim, you've seen me at my best and my worst, and I think I've seen your best and worst. I'm still here, and I'm not going anywhere. In everyway that counts you're my brother as much as Alex. You could never let me down Jim, I'm sorry if I let you down and made you feel like that." The younger man shook his head quickly. "No -- no, it's not like that. I think it just happens when I've known someone a long time. I get in my head about it. It's not like I'm embarrassed about the DID, it's just Davey. He's a kid. He's self-centered and demanding, and that's okay for him, but I'm supposed to have my shit together. It's--" he laughed again here, "this is stupid, but I worry about what people seeing him will think of me, and I can't even be there when they do. He's not like the others. I just lose that time." He raised his odd-colored eyes to Scott and gave him a bitter smile. "Maybe it's easier for him to show himself to people I don't know as well because I feel like I have less to lose." "It's not like I'm ever going to judge you Jim, or judge any of your alters for being themselves but...I get it. We all have parts of ourselves that we don't want others to see, that we're afraid of being judged about. I get it though, it's...not easy to open yourself up all the time, especially to those we're closest to. I think I spend more time running away and hiding from people than I do opening up to them. It's hard, especially when they think you're in control and capable." Jim gave him a rueful smile. "See, this is why we get along. You understand the Charles Xavier style of pseudo-parenting. The one that leaves you with an overblown sense of personal responsibility and then, just for fun, a side of intimacy issues. Although . . . you're with Kitty now, right?" The smile became more genuine. "I was glad to hear that. Clearly you've found someone you don't want to run from." "Charles...while an amazing mutant's right activist and headmaster did leave us with quite a burden to bear didn't he." Jim was perhaps the only other person in the world who knew, who could understand the pressure Scott felt, that sense of responsibility he never seemed to be able to shift. "You know, it's been a long time since I've been able to...able to go after something I wanted just for me." "I know. It's hard to want that again after you lose someone. After . . ." Jean. Scott's Jean. The one they'd lost when the world broke apart, just like so many others. Like Betsy. Jim stared at his hands for a moment, then shook his head. "How'd you do it? Get to that point, I mean." The older man glanced down at his hands, opening and closing them for a moment before looking up at Jim, "Honestly, I don't know. I don't think it was anything I did. It was just, Jean was here but she wasn't my Jean. I was holding onto the memory of someone else. It wasn't easy to let go but...I honestly didn't think I ever would. Then I don't know...there was talking and I didn't think about her. I wasn't thinking about the past but the future." "Maybe that's it. I've never really been good at letting go." Of everyone in the mansion Scott was the only one who came close to understanding. There was a Betsy Braddock here, in this world. A young woman Jim had never met. When he'd heard she'd be coming to the mansion he could have confronted that reality, like Scott, but instead he'd simply left. Even after all these years the past cast shadows so long it was hard to see a future. Just treading water. Jim shook away the thought and forced his mouth into a smile. "Well, however you did it, I'm glad. Maybe in twenty years I'll get there, too, and we can double-date."