|Moment of Awesome - Jean Grey/Marvel Girl: Jean takes Kevin Sydney with her on a weekend's downtime, and things get philosophical.
"So Texas Slim," Kevin said, leaning on the edge of the bar while Jean stacked both full chip holders in front of her before ordering a drink. "What do you think of dice now?"
Jean eyed her chips with a laugh. "Feeling a little guilty but it'll pass." She held up a hand toward the bartender. "Amaretto sour, please."
"Guilty? Doctor Grey, what could you possibly feel guilty about?" Kevin said as the bartender left to fill their orders.
"I cheated," she said quietly with a shrug, "That's still wrong."
"The House cheats. That's the default on a casino." Kevin said, accepting a drink as the bartender reappeared. "But if you feel that way, there's a charity across the street you can donate to."
"When we're done maybe I will," she said with a smirk. "I guess I'm used to doing the right thing...most of the time." Emphasis on the former. "But the world's become so grey I want to hold onto what I can."
"You know that doing the selfish thing isn't always doing the bad thing, right?" He took a sip. "You're allowed to look after yourself. Even do something for no other motive than it makes you feel good without being guilty about it. I know I'm the last person to try and justify selfish behaviour, but... Jean, occasionally you need to do what Jean wants and needs. Otherwise, you'll burn yourself out or burn yourself done. Neither is pleasant." Kevin tended to use nicknames for her, so his use of her first name was a note of sincerity. She might not agree, but this wasn't him and his usual bullshit talking to her.
Jean shrugged, swirling her drink stirrer around. "I know. But with Cecilia gone I'm the head doctor at the mansion and...those are big shoes to fill. Especially if we have another incident like with the Destines. It makes me want to quit Claremont, but I'm one of the few people who still advocate for the...unique people there. Most of the good doctors were scared away by protesters and they've gone to hiring anyone who will fill in, which is now mostly a bunch of racists. Only my nurses seem to be the ones sticking around.I haven't had a lot of time to look after myself when I'm looking after everyone else."
"Jesus. It amazes me how much you demand from yourself and yet, you still think you're not doing enough or doing it right." Kevin let out a long sigh. "I don't know how to help but... you need to carve out something for yourself, Jean. Otherwise, and I speak from experience, you'll breakdown at some point. You deserve a break."
Silent for a moment or two, Jean glanced up, watching as excited tourists and gamblers hurried past. She gave them a nod. "Why do you think I'm here?" she said with a smile. "I'm working on it," she assured him. "Getting a workaholic to slow down is a gradual process. Do it too quickly and it's like derailing a train. We're used to frantic momentum. You have to find the right speed or..."
She finished off her drink, slamming it down on the table.
"I've been talking to my supervisor about reducing my workdays. That way I can still be there but can also have some time at the Medlab....and days off. But I can't just do it cold turkey. That's not who I am. I would be bored as hell, and unfulfilled."