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MoA Jean.png
Moment of Awesome - Jean Grey/Marvel Girl: When David Haller tries to apologise to Jean for an incident during a mission, he discovers just how much damage he did.

"I'm sorry," Haller said at last. "Sincerely. I hadn't even thought about how that would affect you, especially as a doctor. And I'll admit that I wasn't thinking about the man, either."

Jean put the broom away and kept her distance, leaning against a nearby desk.

"You were thinking of vengeance. And you didn't care who got hurt, or the consequences. God, it must be nice to not give a damn rather than deal with your problems in a constructive way that doesn't involve maiming. Because this is not the boy I knew back at Muir. But then again....maybe I didn't know you at all." She shook her head. "But this isn't my problem. I promised myself I would back off," she said, rubbing her eyes. "Anyway, your apology is accepted. You can go now." She really didn't feel like dealing with him or anyone else anymore for awhile.

Now what had been only a suggestion of expression became a true frown. "Was it vengeance?" Haller wondered. There was genuine puzzlement in the question, as if this was the first time the possibility had occurred to him. "I didn't think so. I wasn't angry, and I wasn't thinking about causing pain. I just reacted to a threat." He folded his arms and contemplated the floor tiles, finally relieving Jean of his unnerving gaze. "But you're right, I didn't care that people got hurt when I did. Charles agrees with you there, too. David didn't use to be like that. Caution informed our reactions, even the instinctive ones."

Jean glanced away. "No, that wasn't a normal reaction to a threat. What you said, what you did, that level of destruction....You could've done 15 different things to stop that man that didn't involve damage. But instead your put lives at risk, including the people on your team. I think you're letting your---," she said. She let out a breath, holding up her hands. "Nevermind. I'm sorry. Can we please stop talking about this? I'll want to help and I can't help you. I'm not Scott. Or Charles. This isn't my place. I can't fix anyone except patch people up or...clean up the mess."

"You're right to be upset. I don't need to feel it to understand that. But I also think you're selling yourself short." Haller removed his gaze from the floor and returned his attention to Jean. "Someone who does the things you're describing doesn't belong on the team. That's not what the X-Men are about. Whatever I can bring to the team, it's not a trade Charles is willing to make. But you've done everything you've been asked to do. Sometimes, like with the crowd, it's even been more than could reasonably be expected of someone so new at this. And more importantly, you care." He shook his head. "Charles is right when he says the team doesn't need someone like me. But it does need people like you."

Shaking her head, Jean folded her arms. "Like me?" she said, laughing softly at the notion. Her eyes were momentarily distant and skeptical. "I don't think I'm making a difference at all."

Haller shrugged. "We can claim the X-Men represents all the high ideals we like, but what does that mean if the people on it don't represent them? Intent matters." He added, with faint irony, "You could say it's the difference between a real apology and just saying things people expect you to say."

Jean glanced down. She didn't know how to respond to that. Not to someone who she barely knew, who seemed to choose to bottle up his emotions rather than deal with them, who might not understand. They were all so beaten down, so broken. All she saw was pain. She didn't want their pain. It was too much to bear sometimes. He seemed to think caring was a good thing, sometimes it wasn't.

Without telepathy there was no literal way to read her mind, but David had never used it in his counseling, and Haller didn't need it now to have some sense of Jean's state of mind. "Are you close to anyone at the hospital?" he asked. "People you can do things with, I mean . . . things that aren't just work, things outside the mansion."

Silent for a few moments, Jean let out a breath and glanced up. "Look...I know you're trying to help. Because that's your job as a counselor. But I'm going to be honest: I don't feel comfortable around you right now, Haller. Yes, you scare me. No matter how much you try to apologize or go through the motions because that's what you expect people to do. Something's wrong. That's painfully obvious. But I barely know you enough for us to be having this conversation about either of our problems when I keep thinking I'm going to say something that will make you try to break my leg or...maybe even my neck. Maybe it's irrational but...I just....I need time."

Today in XProject:

September 23

2003: Crimson Dawn: Scott announces to the school that Betsy is in a coma and her recovery is uncertain; he also speaks to Kitty about her role in the surgery and about keeping Betsy's secret; Nathaniel Essex goes to Seattle for the day to research how to reverse Betsy's condition.

2004: Singing with Terry summons Jay’s muse and he begins to compose a new song. Sam asks out Alison just moments after she accepts a proposal from Haroun, so he takes out his frustrations on an innocent tree, much to Cain’s dismay. Nathan and Haroun push each other in the Danger Room again, and then Nathan goes out shopping with Moira for clothes for the HeliX ball.

2005: Forge takes Paige to spend the night at her college after her revelation she's been keeping files on her fellow X-Men; Moira emails her and reassures her she wants Paige to continue being her assistant, although with counselling or an ethics course. Upgrade: the medical team strip out the cyberware and kill the virus. With Malice Aforethought: Manuel offers to use Cerebro to track down Lorna, but Scott refuses.

2006: Professor Xavier and Marius have a talk in the infirmary about what exactly happened; Xavier fixes the problem. In the room over, Jennie wakes up to find Wanda in her room and explanations are given.

2007: Kurt invites Marie to Stefan's wedding. Dani and Haller talk in the kitchen about dreams and the past.

2008: Kevin finds Jay on the grounds and checks he's okay. Morgan and Adrienne discuss self defence and prostitution while playing the Wii.

2009: Wanda encounters Jake as he is moving out. Yvette posts asking her fellow classmates about the classes they are taking for the upcoming school year. Tabitha posts to the students community to announce her position as mentor for the New Mutants and to invite them to visit an amusement park on the weekend. Dori tries out her new Guitar Hero video game and Catseye shows a particular interest, prompting the birth of a new girl band, Girls With Tails. Garrison and Adrienne go on their first date to a French restaurant and agree to take dates one at a time without overanalyzing their relationship. Dori texts Callie asking for her to bring food to the squirrel girl and Monkey Joe in the treehouse. Callie texts Fred asking if he can bring food to Dori in the treehouse.

2010: Piotr presents Kevin with a stack of Play-Doh for sculpting lessons.

2011: Doug ensures that everyone gets to lose the game. What Goes Around, Comes Around: Wade gathers Kyle and Callie to discuss plans for his Halloween party of awesomeness.

2012: Wade sends David a text asking him to spar so Wade can let out his stress about Marie-Ange sleeping with Thor. Clint comes across Tandy watching Night of the Living Dead in the rec room and the two talk for a little while. Clint posts to his journal introducing himself to the mansion population. After meeting Tandy, Clint heads back to the suite to continue playing catch-up, only Billy's gone and Maddie's playing Goldilocks in his bed.

2013: Adrienne sums up the end of the fantasy baseball season and reveals Doug and Kyle will have to dress as unicorns, as per the rules of their bet; Garrison lets them know they’ll be appearing as Maurice the Dancing Unicorn at a local children’s hospital for a child’s birthday and conversation turns to an annoying telecommuting student and Halloween costumes. Wade emails Doug about messing with the annoying telecommuting student.

2014: Miles’ friend Ganke emails him to wish him luck at his new school. Miles runs into Julian in the gym and learns about the New Mutants program. Marie and Julian have their shopping trip - at Walmart - and encounter some anti-mutant bigotry. Higher Than Hope: Wanda reports on x_snowvalley that they have more information on “Holocaust” and that Artie is going to go undercover. Miles makes his introduction post and receives a warm welcome - mostly.

2015: Tandy makes a journal entry about London being done, being on her way to Milan, and being partied out. Alex makes an Instagram cross post from the world’s largest ball of twine. Alex makes an unscheduled detour. Wanda is less than pleased to see Quentin’s designs for a tattoo. Wanda makes a journal post inviting people to join her at Harry’s after her Quentin Quire quagmire. Jean texts Wanda about Quentin’s age. Lorna texts Wanda to see if she’s ok after her post.

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Coming Soon:

  • 'Repent Harlequin!' Cried The Tick Tock Man: An attack against Jacob Lowenstein brings hope to Julian Keller in the wake of his devastating injury.

  • Honey, I Shrunk The Magic Class: No-one can find the magic peeps after a regular class, but they still register on the security system. What's going on?

  • Set Fire To The Rain: A new attempt to portray the Hulk as a public danger results in near-disaster for New York.

  • Glitter and Gold: A night out at a prestigious party turns perilous for Wanda Maximoff and friends.

  • Operation: Ain't No Rest For The Wicked: X-Force is off to Genosha when Carmilla Black asks for backup.

  • Casefile: Showdown at General Tso's Corral: X-Factor Investigations gets involved when a favourite local restaurant is shaken down for protection money.

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